Over the years I’ve discovered many bugs, Easter eggs, glitches and errors which lazy game developers have either left in their games or my computer/console has farted on to my TV/monitor- here’s my top three most hilarious videogame bugs.

Number Three: GTA Vice City- A floor like Swiss cheese.

My favourite Grand Theft Auto makes an appearance here. Known for its Scarface rip-off story and bright graphics, GTA Vice City eclipsed its predecessor by far and was great fun to play- it was, however, known for its many bugs- including the one which would allow the main character, Tommy Vercetti, to fall through the floor and end up floating in a white-lined void forever. Upon hitting a wall at high speed while riding a motorbike, I went straight through the wall and fell into the void, where I then stayed for an hour…

Number Two: Crysis- The incredible swimming North Koreans.

Crysis is a fantastic game, c0mbining a half-decent story with brilliant gameplay and stellar graphics. The AI, however, is notoriously dumb. Take this situation- Nomad, the player character, is in the sea, having jumped in to escape North Korean troopers on the shoreline. Upon turning on my cloak mode, the North Koreans start running up and down the shoreline yelling ‘”I don’t see him”, before walking very slowly into the waist-deep water and drowning- all eight of them, one after another. Something a bit like like this (about a minute into the video)

Number One: Jedi Knight: Dark Forces 2- The “Shit” Cannon. 

The 'Shit' Cannon

A fantastic game this one, combining a brilliant story with all the Jedi, lightsabers, blasters, Stormtroopers and action you could want- with one special addition, a hilarious bug with one of the weapons- the Imperial Repeater Rifle. I was fighting my way through one of the levels early on in the game when a bug in the coding suddenly replaced the sound of the rifle firing with the voices of friendly soldiers reacting to invading Stormtroopers. This meant that when I pulled the trigger, instead of a nice ‘bang’ noise, what I got was “We’re being overrun!”, or “urgh, I’ve been hit!”, or even “Shoot them! Shoot them!”

This was the most hilarious of the three comments, as pulling the trigger then holding it down would force the game to repeat “Shoot them! Shoot them!” really quickly, turning that comment into a sound which beared a strong resemblance to the word ’shit’.

Imagine the scene: Stormtroopers coming in every door, Imperial TIE Fighters blazing overhead, I reach into my inventory, drag out a rifle and unleash:

“Shit…..ShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShit………ShitShitShitShit……..ShitShitShitShitShitShitShit…ShitShit”

Epic Win.

Got a suggestion for the most hilarious videogame bugs? Post a comment!

A very good Monday morning to you- by which I mean “OH DEAR GOD IT’S MONDAY WHERE DID MY WEEKEND GO? ARRRGH!”

If you’re anything like me you could use a little pick-me-up, even better if it’s a comedy pick-me-up. So here we go- just be glad you don’t suffer from this:

After a short break while Colin was off exploring Jamaica (and Andy was off exploring the dark corners of his own soul) we finally found the time to record and edit the sixth edition of the Game On Podcast, this week featuring:

Infamous – PS3

Prototype – Xbox 360

Red Faction: Guerilla – Xbox 360/PS3

Ghostbusters: The Video Game – PS3

Project Natal & bullying Milo – E3

PSP Go – E3

Splinter Cell: Conviction – E3

Hard Rain – E3

Assassins Creed 2 – E3

Modern Warfare 2 (not Call of Duty!) – E3

The Beatles Rockband – E3

Mass Effect 2 – E3

Batman: Arkham Asylum – E3/MCM Expo

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen – the film.

Enjoy!

Before I get any flak for writing yet another blog post about a certain recently-deceased pop legend, let me tell you about one of the weirdest videogames I’ve ever played- Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker, one of the strangest side-scrollers ever coded.

Set in a bizarre world inspired by the King of Pop’s music videos, the game revolved around rescuing children from a fictional ‘Mr Big’ by dancing and moonwalking your way past legions of robots, rent-a-goons and zombies, with a little help from the Smooth Criminal’s chimp, Bubbles.

The main attraction (for the time) was the ability to play as the man himself, with all the croch-grabbing, spinning and hat throwing dance moves from the performer’s stage shows. Also leading the charge were midi versions of some of his chart toppers, including Bad, Smooth Criminal and even the Thriller theme.

Of course, back then, the fact that the Man in the Mirror was rescuing little children by blowing fairy dust at enemies and transforming into spaceships didn’t seem too odd. But Wacko or not, it was a damn good arcade game and definitely a blast from the past- especially as once you caught a falling star (it’s hard to explain) you could transform to the mecha-Jackson from the movie and blow everything to Black or White. (About 2 minutes into the video below.)

So here’s to you, Mr Jackson, farewell and thank-you for giving us the cool weirdness of Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker.

While my partner in crime Colin and I were wandering around the MCM expo a month or so ago, we came across possibly the best costume in the entire selection of stellar outfits at the Excel Centre - a guy dressed as Albert Wesker from the Resident Evil Series. Try to guess which of these pictures is the costume…

I R Wesker indeed

 Yes, you are Wesker.

You are also ‘incredible.’

Here it is – my review of Prototype- the most-hyped game this year so far, and hyped for good reason- It’s awesome.

Just to summarise some of the powers Prototype’s dark hero, Alex Mercer, gains as he chases his past, here’s a short list:

• The ability to run up the side of buildings
• Parkour which would make Sebastian Foucan jealous
• A massive biomass shield
• Biomass armour
• A three-foot blade sprouting from one arm
• Claws
• ‘Groundspike’ attacks (exactly what it sounds like)
• Hijacking tanks and helicopters
• Camouflaging himself by consuming the bodies of others
• Calling in airstikes
• Throwing water towers at enemies
• Flying

And he’s also pretty much bulletproof and can transform his body into any shape the gamer wants.

In other words, he’s a complete beast, and not someone to be messed with lightly.

Alex Mercer, Prototype's main character

Through no fault of my own I have found little time to update my blog, mostly due to the mass influx of work coming my way in my 9-5 job, so accept my apologies for that. I have, however, found time to write several reviews you may find remotely interesting, so here we go:

Red Faction Guerrilla:A blast across the surface of Mars, Guerrilla is a fantastic open-world game, full to the brim with explosions, collapsing buildings and as much sledgehammer-to-the-face action as you could want- a brilliant little number and well worth the cash.

UFC 2009 - Undisputed: Being as I am a slightly-built and entirely uninterested in the testosterone-driven world of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, I was mildly surprised to find a half-decent fighting game underneath the silly title, even if the menu system is like negotiating a hedge maze wearing a blindfold while carrying an elephant on your back.

Velvet Assassin: A charming little WW2 stealth shooter let down by some dodgy controls and a weird storyline- and I don’t say that lightly- what other game allows you to pause the action in game and run around in a bloodstained nightie?

And coming later this week, my Prototype review, with all the shape-shifting and body absorption you could ever want. Here’s a taster:

I like first person shooters. So do many other gamers.

What I don’t like is the Government attempting to prey on the minds of young gamers with thinly-veiled propaganda pieces like this:

 

Notice the first person viewpoint, the illusion of choice and the setting- seems like a live action Call of Duty doesn’t it? Only one problem- you don’t respawn when you die in battle.

Yes, the British Army (one of the finest military services in the world) are fighting a war in the Middle East, yes they always need more troops, but to make an advert designed specifically to influence young minds into signing up for the military- that’s just wrong.

If you have the inclination to join the Army, you should go to a recruitment office having watched the news and read books written by front-line soldiers, not some PR video which makes it seem like a game- this is real life, there are no powerups or cheats.

Now, I have no problems with the Army, I have great respect for anyone who joins the service and is willing to put their lives on the line for their country, but attempting to recruit from younger gamers who are much more likely to be taken in by what is basically subliminal advertising is plain inappropriate.

The flip-side to this argument would be that boys are of course encouraged to play with military-themed toys from a very early age- I myself had an enviable collection of Action Man figures, but while those toys probably birthed my interest in military history, both modern and WW2-era, this campaign has been created specifically for the gaming market- specifically for the younger gamers out there.

Don’t be fooled by the  propaganda. Join the Army on your own terms- not the Government’s.

Oh, and luckily, not all children were taken in by the campaign, kudos to this intrepid team:

It’s every gaming journalist’s favourite time of year- it’s E3 time!

And this year the three big names of gaming have pulled out all the stops to top each other with a variety of gaming headliners.

Sony led with a half-decent camera rig and few shiny graphics, Nintendo pulled out their usual collection of Mario and Zelda games and Microsoft led with the throughly predictable Halo upgrades, in Halo ODST (Recon was a much better title) and Halo reach. But what I and many other game-heads are really concerned/pleased/surprised by is the emergence of Project Natal or, as I like to call it, “Project StealingtheWii’smotiondetectortechnology-again.”

Take a look:

Now three main things immediately sprung to mind when I first read about Natal:

1. Yes it looks cool but will it actually work? That’s the million dollar question, and luckily Micsosoft is investing a million, million dollars into the project, mostly because they want to earn a a million, million dollars out of it- that’s entertainment for you.
2. Natal, while revolutionary, is clearly an attempt to cash in on the market developed by the Nintendo Wii- especially after the Japanese giant managed to break into the casual and female markets- markets never before plumbed by the depths of the gaming market.
3. Will Natal bring an end to the hardcore console market? What I mean by this is that after the Wii took Nintendo into the sphere of the casual gamer, the majority of the games went from being difficult platformers to a huge variety of party games interspersed with the occasional decent game- Resident Evil 4 for example- but is this the way the Xbox is going to go?

Will Project Natal be the end of hardcore gaming, as developers turn their eyes on cheap to make and massivly-popular party games?

Time will tell…

Here it is: the thoroughly-embarrassing video Colin and I recorded on our day out at the MCM Expo, London’s premier meeting of the great minds of comics, manga, costumes and games.

While I admit I was only there for the games (which was a bit of a let-down- BOOO at Ubisoft), some of the costumes were amazing and the atmosphere was electric.

This video is below, but you can find the original at out GameOn website, along with all the podcasts and reviews you could want. Enjoy!